we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
