O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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