He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize