Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
