Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
