Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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