a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
