the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
