i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
