so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
