you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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