2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
