its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
