I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
