i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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