No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
