I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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