Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
