New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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