There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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