So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have aggressive nipples.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
