loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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