this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
