she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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