who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
