I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
