Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize
