I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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