She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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