you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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