Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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