thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
