wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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