I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
