she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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