Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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