when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
