I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
