I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
