he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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