Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
