you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize