I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
