You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to make a zoo with you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
