My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
