mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
