All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize