I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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