Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
