just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
