i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ttyl tear gas
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
