He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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