hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize