Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
