I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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