Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
