genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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